Archive for April, 2013

“Wow, this is not what I expected… calm down. You know that you should never have expected anything. I know, but I thought things would end differently. Don’t worry, you still have next week to clarify things, right?”

We all do this, don’t we? We talk to ourselves in the mirror as if we were talking to our best friend or our dog or our food for that matter. Somehow, it releases some tension that we have been feeling. Now, don’t be thinking to yourself, “Wow, I never talk to my reflection. This kid’s a weirdo.” Calm down. You know you do the same. If it’s not a mirror, you do talk to yourself. Whether out loud or in your mind, you really do talk to yourself. Almost constantly, I’ve realized… okay, now I am creeping myself out because I am currently conscious that I’m talking to myself while typing this.

Why do we do this? Frankly, I don’t know. There’s something about talking to yourself that makes you feel lighter and more confident in yourself. If you don’t believe me, fine, how about you get off the screen, go to the closest mirror you find, and talk to yourself about your problems. Or just talk to yourself right now about what’s bothering you or what’s going on in your life. See if it makes everything better.

Ready? Go!

Okay so you probably didn’t heed my advice, but it really releases stress. Even guys do this. If you’re a guy, don’t lie to me and shake your head at the computer screen. I know you’ve done that. Maybe you’ve practiced what to say to that cute girl or what you would say to your parents to convince them to buy you something. Or maybe you’ve flexed your muscles or flipped your hair in front of the mirror, saying, “Man, I look good today.” And, girls, yeah, admit it. You may not be as girly as someone else, but you talk to yourself, don’t you? You don’t have to be girly to do so.

But, yes, those are my thoughts for today. I do apologize for not posting for a long time. SATs, long papers, end of the year pressure, and a bunch of other things have been bombarding my life. I will be sure to post more in the summer so stay tuned! For now, you should definitely try talking to yourself, seriously.

Well, no, not really. I hope you’re not dead. Of course you’re not dead, you’re reading this! Silly me.

Yeah, as you can tell, this is another of those life-is-treating-me-in-a-bad-way posts. Sorry if you’re tired of my complaining, but there is no other way for me to express how I feel except for this blog. I can say practically anything I want to say, and I can just be myself without people bashing me over my head saying that I’m a hopeless wreck.

I mean, seriously, I shouldn’t be so affected. My life is virtually perfect. I couldn’t agree more with that statement. Yeah, school is hard and it’s horribly dreadful. But my family is together. I live in a decent house. I have clothes to wear. I have food to eat.

What is wrong with me?

Can’t someone teach me how not to fall in love with the wrong person? Goodness, he probably doesn’t even care about my existence. Can I channel that into something productive?

On top of that, I feel that sometimes people don’t care about me. Do they? I really hope so. I feel like a wallflower for the most part. Everyone has a best friend except for me. Everyone has that someone that holds their gaze when they see each other. Everyone but me. Family is nice, but people always want love outside that. Or is it just me?

What’s that term we use today? Oh, right. First world problems. Not my favorite term, but that’s how I’ll put it.

I think I’m a hopeless romantic. Why can’t I fall in love with doing something, say, school or studying? That would be so much easier.

I try my best to hold back tears just thinking about it. I know it’s the brutal cycle of life, but I just wish that life would be kinder.

Yeah, this post is all over the place, but I thank you for reading this far. Besides God, you guys are what keep me hanging on even if it’s by a thread. You guys are what keep the razor from slipping. You guys let me know that someone out there cares for me.