Posts Tagged ‘Life’

Under Pressure

Posted: November 21, 2013 in Life
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I seriously need to stop spending time on the internet. It’s eating up my time. It’s eating me ALIVEEEE!!!

Drama aside, I really should pull myself together. I’m failing Physics. I’m way behind in my studies. I can’t finish my novel. I don’t have time to do things I’ve been planning to do.

The thing is, I can’t concentrate on anything. I only do things if I feel like it. Or if someone else is watching. Or if I’m in trouble.

It’s time for me to turn the tables and set my priorities straight. I’ve been telling myself this over and over again for the past few months.

And yet, nothing has happened. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

I still have no idea why I’m sharing this trivial information about my life to you all, but I have no one else to dump this burden on. I’m sick and tired of telling myself that I’ll do something. When, in reality, I can’t bring myself to do it. I can’t concentrate solely on school. It shouldn’t be that hard, but it is.

I’m tired. But at the same time, I want to do something. I want to be more than just the high schooler who spends most of her time in front of her laptop. I want to excel. I want to finish my novel. I want to get to my other hobbies. Not worry about school.

College is just around the corner for me, and I’m afraid that I’ll keep going in this cycle. The cycle of going through the motions without gaining any information. It sucks.

I’ll do my best to change this. I will.

But for now, I need to share this burden.

 I hope you can pull yourself together as I try to pull myself together. Peace to you, reader.

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The F-word

Posted: November 1, 2013 in Uncategorized
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No, not the curse word. The other one that we hate the most: Failure. 

Over the past few weeks, I’ve been feeling like I’m a failure. That I can’t live up to anything. That I can’t be good enough. I was one-third of a percent from qualifying for an award for school based on my SAT score. I was three questions away from passing my permit test. 

But I’ve thought of it, and failure is actually not so bad. Failure is just a detour from success. Sure, you can fail once, twice, or even more than three times, but you are always given the chance to try to succeed. No one can take that right away from you. I’m not sure if I’m saying this for you readers or for myself, but I guess this is a good lesson for all of us. I will take the SAT test again. And I will pass that permit test. It’s not the end of the road (haha, see what I did there?). Life will go on. 

Don’t let failure get in the way of success.

Today, I am excited to share this special post with you all. This is my first (sort of) collaboration with another blogger, my good friend CLynn who I met on NaNoWrimo (which I will probably post about in the future). We decided that music would be a good topic for our first Q&A because what’s better than a great song, right? We both hope you like this blog post because we’re really excited to share it with you! So these are her answers to the questions we both decided to answer. (My answers can be found on her blog. The link will be at the end of the post.) So without further ado, let’s get to the good stuff!

Q: What is music to you?  

A: Life. You CANNOT go a day without hearing any form of music. It’s everywhere. Even when you’re not paying attention. It is also therapy, I know music has helped me with some tough times. I often turn to music when I’m in any kind of mood. It’s a beautiful thing. You can express your feelings with it. You can relate to other people with it. It’s probably the most amazing thing anyone has ever invented in the history of the world.

Q: What is your favorite song?

A: Right now it’s: Ambulance Chaser by Search the City (it’s been on repeat all day)

Q: What is your favorite band?

A: Um, there’s no way I can pick just one! I’ll give you my top three: Sleeping with Sirens, Search the City, and NeverShoutNever

Q: What proponents do you like in a song?

A: Good vocals, a nice bass, meaningful lyrics, and a consistency with good songs.

Q: In what ways does music influence your every day life?

A: In every way possible. I never start or end my day without music. If I could, I would have it playing 24/7

Please copy and paste your favorite line from a song: “I’ve come undone, just so you could stitch me up. This damage seems to suit you.

Q: What would you call “Your Sound” when it comes to your music taste?

A: I feel like IndieRock/Pop. But I do enjoy SOME mainstream songs.

Q: What is the latest band that you’ve discovered and loved?

A: Search the City!!

If you would like to see my answers to these questions, find it on CLynn’s blog, http://misshopesblogs.wordpress.com. We both hope you all liked this post! We’re looking forward to making more posts like this one so stay tuned! Thanks for reading! You are what makes this blog complete.

Over the weekend, I’ve been thinking about happiness lately. What makes people happy? Money? Power? Fame?

There are so many things that, when we look at it from a distance, we think would most likely make us happy. However, happiness is really just not easy to find. Sure, you could be happy for a while, but how long will that happiness really last? A day? A week? A few months?

So, this past weekend, my parents finally bought me a longboard. I’d wanted one for nearly two years. And now, I finally have it! I’ve been riding it for the past few days and couldn’t be happier. When I’m not riding it, it stands against my wall in my room, and I can’t stop thinking about how beautiful it is. But today had other things of its own besides me and my longboard (which I’ve nicknamed “my new boyfriend.”) I had a test to worry about and a bunch of other school-related things to attend to. Was I happy during those times? Not really. Although I just got my longboard, I found myself already thinking about getting another longboard that I’m sure to enjoy more than this one.

What’s my point here, you may ask. My point is that, no matter what we do to try to fill our wants, we will always want something else to make us happy. Honestly, our mentality is not “give and take,” it’s more like “take and take.” We care so much about ourselves that we think in order to be happy, we have to get that next big thing then get the next one. We keep wanting to update our happiness. Like, happiness level 1.0 is what we may have now, then we want the 2.0 version, and soon enough we’ll be looking for 19302.0. It’s a cycle in us that seems to never be satiated. But, you don’t have to stay that way.

True happiness–a better word would be joy– can’t be found in things or money or fame or even power. Our true happiness comes within us. Within, surprisingly, the little things. With the things we already have and the things that can’t be bought by even a billion dollars. Little things like songs can totally change our perspective. Sure, you won’t be happy all the time. But you can definitely look at life in a more optimistic view. Look at what you have, be thankful that you’ve got clothes or shoes or an iPhone 4. Are the celebrities happy? They’ve got so much money and fame, right? They should be happy all the time, right? Nope.  Have you seen some of them lately? They get into drugs and all these illegal cases. Money and fame don’t seem to fill that void in them. I’ve met so many people who have such a great view on life, and they don’t even come close to having any of those riches that the celebrities have. Why so? They look at what they have. They’ve got family. They’ve got friends. They’ve got everything they need. (Emphasis on need not want.) Of course they have wants, but they don’t let that 5.0 get to them. They’re on a 99999.0 on their own.

Hopefully, you change your perspective from your wants and channel that to other things like helping someone who seems to be in a rut or simply giving someone a smile. Look at your wardrobe and smile at it rather than frown at the spot where new clothes should be. Love that 4.0 or whatever you have. Look at the little things. Listen to a feel-good song. Tell yourself that you are amazing!

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be off to read a book…

As we all know, school is right around the corner (or maybe it’s started for you already). In my area, school starts tomorrow. While I don’t have to worry about school and the pressure and anxiety it gives people (since I am homeschooled and started three weeks ago), I thought I’d make a little post for those of you who are headed into the new school year. I thought maybe some tips can help? I don’t have much experience with going to school, but I have a good idea of what it probably feels like. For those of you who aren’t in school, I guess you can

1) Be yourself. Yes, that is the most important tip I can give you. You can even make it your motto to live by. I’ve tried so many times to change who I am just to make certain people like me or to join a group of “cool” people. Shoot, throw that philosophy away. If your friends now don’t like you, dump them and find other people who share your interests. It’ll help, I promise! I hate seeing people try so hard to change just to be friends with someone. Be yourself, and don’t let anyone else define you because you are you.

2) Have some confidence. I know it’s hard to be confident in yourself. I don’t mean you have to pull some awesome parkour trick to show that you have lots of confidence. Just carry yourself in a way that says “yup, I feel good about myself” because, trust me, it’ll help you immensely in dealing with haters. If you’re the shy type, I don’t mean you have to suddenly try to become an outgoing person if you’re not. Just have confidence in yourself that you’ll do well in school, that you will make friends or keep your friends that you have now.

3) Try to keep yourself away from drama. School is supposed to be for learning, not for a mini TV series. A lot of my friends who go to school have different stories about school. I can tell who really wants to make it far in school and who just goes to school for drama. Drama is a nasty thing. I went to a homeschool supplemental group for the past three years, and people just love to start drama left and right. It’s crazy! But people like drama. If you are not involved in any of the gossip going around, please steer clear from it. I guarantee you, your life will be 1,000 times better without it. I mean you can’t keep drama away from you forever, but try to keep it at a low percentage.

4) Let the haters hate. Yes, I said it. You can’t have everyone love you. I don’t know how to explain it, but you just can’t. If someone is constantly bothering you, don’t say anything because those bullies/haters like getting a negative reaction from you. Shrug it off and keep going. (Confidence is needed.)

5) Tell yourself that you’re awesome. You might not think that about yourself, but when you speak positive things about yourself, you actually feel happier. Build someone else up too! Let me be the first to tell you that you are awesome, and you can make it through this school year (or whatever you’re going through right now).

I really hope that you read all of this and start doing what I’ve listed here because I really have found this to be true and helpful in my life. Have an amazing school year!

Till the next post… Ciao!

I know my last post was about music, but hey, why not post another one?

I’ve been highly influenced by metalcore and the like lately… mainly Underoath. Only the Lord knows how much I love them so much. Lost in the Sound of Separation is actually influencing my whole novel that I’m working on right now. Seriously, it’s like listening to an apocalypse novel (well, for me.) I know it’s mostly about drug addiction and stuff, but I interpret it in a deeper fashion. They almost have parts of my plot in their songs. It’s crazy.

“I was too scared to show what I am… bear with me, bear with me, this is all I have left.” (I’ll post the YouTube song link at the end.)

Those words are just so moving to me that those are the very words that my character cries out almost throughout the story. (Not literally, of course.) The whole album exemplifies the events in my story.  Sometimes, part of it, and sometimes all of it. I try to give a song to one of my characters, sometimes taking from other Underoath albums.

Music is such a dramatically large part of our life whether we realize it or not. I think I cannot go on for a day without listening to at least one song from one of my favorite bands.

So if you’re trying to come up with an awesome idea for a story if you’re a writer like me, try listening to your favorite song. Oh, and just a tip, don’t try to get it from a worthless pop song (sorry pop lovers). Try Death Cab for Cutie, Blink-182, Thriving Ivory, Coldplay… bands like those. If you’d like to add any band suggestions, feel free to do so. Or ask me for others if you like what you hear. (Those bands are, by the way, bands that everyone can listen to. Don’t worry, no screamo.)

I hope that as you go about your week, you will find a song to inspire you.

(Maybe it’ll be this one!)

A Tribute to the Best Band Ever

Over this past month, I have realized that I love my favorite band more than ever! What is my favorite band?

None other than the incredible…

UNDEROATH!!

Yeah, yeah, I know. You probably don’t know who they are. Or if you do, you may be asking, “They already broke up, why obsess over them?” They’re a metalcore/screamo band who have released some of the best albums I have ever heard in my life. They recently broke up early this year. It’s a bummer I didn’t get to go to one of their final concerts. (The tickets were sold out fast! But I got some band merch off the site so that makes up for it, I guess.)

Anyway, stripped of the amazing vocals, insane drumming, and awesome guitar playing, Underoath has some of the most meaningful lyrics out there in the metalcore world. Yes, I do love metalcore/screamo, but I love it even more when bands come out with lyrics that are not just covered by great instruments and screaming. Lyrics that actually have a meaning behind them make a better song than one that’s filled with endless screaming to no end.

Here’s some lyrics to my favorite songs (well, they’re all my favorite songs, but I’ll put up the ones that I think are the most beautiful):

You always amazed me
But thats the past
I kept silent and it rained for days
My inside were drenched
But I guess that’s the part of growing up
I never wanted to learn
And I grew into the man
That you never knew
But I wouldn’t be this way
If it wasn’t for you
100 thank you’s
It this is love
Fairy tales never came true
Judies are black in full bloom
And I died in the womb
Take it back, all that’s gone
It’s all still there like you left it
December stayed the same
Nothing ever changed but you
Every little dream covered in dents
Love can’t fly tonight
Couples will rest, I’ll be sleepless
So cry yourself to sleep
This is about broken hearts
This is about me
Bending again for nothing
I’d run to you but pain awaits
I’m coming home
But I’ll be late
No deeper than imagination can be
Sight with nothing to see
What’s faith if I can’t believe
It’s everything
A cure, but I make it a disease

God take me because I hate me

-From Changing of Times, “Alone in December”

Carry out the sound
Past our eyes horizon
I’m standing still, I’m standing still
Waiting for this all to change
Now my hands are up.
I’m walking out, I’m walking out
What do you expect of me?

Did you think that this was all an excuse for hospitality?
I know you think its all because of me
At first glance, I’ll breathe in
Leaving myself no room to move, at all
My mind is so flooded and I’m drunk with regret
Swimming in a sea of hope tonight
I find your hand and trace it with mine
As we push away with everything we have
With everything we have left

Oh you’re acting on my words
We can start the fire, that will light up the night
No I wouldn’t be too sure of you at all
We’ll watch it burn together on respective sides
We look so good, as we fall

I’ll go ahead and re-elect perfection
Its never looked as good as it does on you right now
I’ll go ahead and make an incision
Doubt you’ll feel anything at all
A fake, a fraud, forked tongue and I am nervous
At least I can say I made it out this time
I am just fine where you have left me
As for you be sure to cover up your mouth

I don’t know how to say this
My thoughts have just run out

-From They’re Only Chasing Safety, “I’ve Got Ten Friends and a Crowbar That Says You Ain’t Gonna Do Jack”

So hold your head up high and know it’s not the end of the road

Walk down this beaten path before you pack your things and head home
At the end of the road you’ll find what you’ve been longing for

I know ’cause my feet have the scars to show
I was lost with vague direction and no place to call home

It’s time for you to press on
This is not your war
Set your sights to North and press on
This is not your escape
Wash way what they thought of you
Because in this place, we’re all as good as dead
…end cycle…

Behind the mask you’ll find yourself alone
It’s not the end of road for you

-From Define the Great Line, “To Whom It May Concern”

At the end of it all
We will be sold for parts
We will try to rebuild
But we ate it all away
All ambitions now run dry
Someone stop this thing, turn it off
In search of new life
Nothing will be left to walk this earth again
Turn it off…
Our hopes and dreams
Will be swallowed
We always said it wouldn’t end up like this
We will be the new ice age
We will be the new plague
Disguised as a colony
We will wipe them all away
Feast your eyes
Or just rip ’em out
This is it for us
It’s time to panic
We always said it wouldn’t end
It wouldn’t end up like this
We are the cancer
We are the virus
Tell me it’s not too late

-From Lost in the Sound of Separation, “Emergency Broadcast… The End Is Near”

You said there was nothing left down here

Well I roamed around the wasteland
And I swear I found something
I found hope, I found God
I found the dreams of the believers

Oh, God! Save us all

-From Lost in the Sound of Separation, “Desolate Earth… The End Is Here”

I would recommend Define the Great Line for what I think are the best lyrics from all their albums. If you decide to check them out, I’d recommend They’re Only Chasing Safety for starters. If you do not like screamo at all, “Some Will Seek Forgiveness, Others Escape” is a wonderful song to listen to. I hope I haven’t disturbed you all too much with my Underoath obsession, and I hope you all check them out because they are amazing!

If you have anything on your mind regarding this post, feel free to post a comment! Have a great rest of your day, everyone.